I'm clumsy. It's true. I am a dancer, and yet I am very clumsy. Fortunately, not while I am dancing. And for some reason, I am also awkward. I speak awkwardly, I act awkwardly, I even react awkwardly.
Many people think this is cute. Others think that I create these scenarios to be like characters such as Bella in Twilight. This has never been the case. I have always understood that I am who I am, and the only thing that can truly change me is myself ... and the influence of social media.
These characteristics that I have somehow create funny, embarrassing situations to the point that I wonder sometimes if I was named and should have been Bridget Jones, the novels about her were so embarrassing that I had to stop reading them.
Truly, I can't stand embarrassing moments. The reason is probably because my parents were so good at making me think about how I would feel in other's shoes. If I am watching a movie, and I have any hint that the next scene will be embarrassing, I will promptly leave the room and go do something until the embarrassing scene has ended. Did anyone say potty break?
The problem is that with my clumsiness, I am continuously inside an embarrassing scene within a movie which also happens to be my life, so there is no walking away to go to the bathroom or to do something else so I wouldn't have to watch it. A tough life, right?!?
I am not a pitiful person, I do not like pity or belittling because I have a lot of pride. Perhaps it is this pride that keeps getting me into these embarrassing moments, but for right now I have no idea.
I have always wanted to be a superhero or a super strong independent woman who only stays with her man because she decides to, and because he treats her right.
Throughout my young life, I have scoured society for super hero stories about women that are not the sidekicks, but actually are given the time that these women deserve. However, that is never done. All the women are usually sidekicks or the bad guy. Even in Batman, the sidekick is Catwoman, and the bad guy is a woman. I mean, seriously? That doesn't even get into the multi-ethnic heroes either.
I think it is time for a new superhero generation.
I think the reason I am thinking about this is that I recently watched Iron Man 3. (IT WAS SO GOOD!) I mean Pepper isn't in it much, but she is always amazing; however, she is always the trophy, and she even knows it.
Although I kind of went off kilter, I want to speak more about my clumsiness and awkwardness. I understand that I am not the most awkward nor am I the clumsiest out of everyone in the world. And even though I haven't really talked about many adventures lately, my life doesn't always seem exciting to me so I don't write about it. Maybe the adventures I am having are unfinished. Life moves in curious ways.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Tomorrow is My Birthday.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 22.
My great aunt Carolyn is in the last stages of her life, and I am only beginning mine. Throughout my life I have endured many close loved ones dying, and I thought it was normal. Now, I know differently.
Dealing with the blows of losing loved ones created a child that crushingly gripped onto the people that she already loved. An ice wall gradually formed creating a shield from herself and new people. It was crystal clear, so the newcomers and herself would be able to see, speak, and interact. Learning from all of the death, she became sorrowful and became deeply depressed. Hiding her sadness, she when about her life as best she could. Sitting next to her bed was a picture of her grandmother and her young two-year-old self, every night she willed to remember any kind of memory from her brain. None would come. Only the memory of the story being told to her by her mother, "Grandma Judy loved you very much. When this photo was taken, she told me about how you not being able to remember her hurt the most."
After being sullen for a year or two, the girl had a dawning thought while talking to her mother about all of the people that they had lost in their lives. "Why do we love, mom,? If everyone in our lives that we hold dear to us are taken away or leave? Why put ourselves in that pain?"
Her mother looked very sad at her, and didn't answer.
"I know why. I know that our lives are not worth living without those people. The reason why it is so hard to lose those people is because of the love and the memories. To live a life without any sort of love is a life not worth living; in fact, it is not living at all, only existing. Those memories are what enrich our lives, and without them we would have nothing. Some would say that life is about the pursuit of knowledge, but without someone to share that knowledge with then all is for naught. The knowledge that was gained is gone after death if there is no one to share with. Many people focus on the negative aspects of life or tasks such as: working, making money, buying stuff that no one needs, and cleaning the house. Those are not the moments that make life worth it. Love and making connections with people are the only reasons, and that is why we do it."
The girl sat calmly across from her mother after answering her own question.
With more sad memories on the horizon, I can always look back and cherish the many, many happy ones that I have already made. Sometimes obstacles meet us early in life, and sometimes they come later, but either way I am happy for all of the people that I have known in my life that are no longer living.
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 22.
Even though my birthday, recent news, and activities have made me realize how fragile life can be, I am happy with the life I was given. I know I am vulnerable to the world for thinking this way, but how else would life be worth living?
My great aunt Carolyn is in the last stages of her life, and I am only beginning mine. Throughout my life I have endured many close loved ones dying, and I thought it was normal. Now, I know differently.
Dealing with the blows of losing loved ones created a child that crushingly gripped onto the people that she already loved. An ice wall gradually formed creating a shield from herself and new people. It was crystal clear, so the newcomers and herself would be able to see, speak, and interact. Learning from all of the death, she became sorrowful and became deeply depressed. Hiding her sadness, she when about her life as best she could. Sitting next to her bed was a picture of her grandmother and her young two-year-old self, every night she willed to remember any kind of memory from her brain. None would come. Only the memory of the story being told to her by her mother, "Grandma Judy loved you very much. When this photo was taken, she told me about how you not being able to remember her hurt the most."
After being sullen for a year or two, the girl had a dawning thought while talking to her mother about all of the people that they had lost in their lives. "Why do we love, mom,? If everyone in our lives that we hold dear to us are taken away or leave? Why put ourselves in that pain?"
Her mother looked very sad at her, and didn't answer.
"I know why. I know that our lives are not worth living without those people. The reason why it is so hard to lose those people is because of the love and the memories. To live a life without any sort of love is a life not worth living; in fact, it is not living at all, only existing. Those memories are what enrich our lives, and without them we would have nothing. Some would say that life is about the pursuit of knowledge, but without someone to share that knowledge with then all is for naught. The knowledge that was gained is gone after death if there is no one to share with. Many people focus on the negative aspects of life or tasks such as: working, making money, buying stuff that no one needs, and cleaning the house. Those are not the moments that make life worth it. Love and making connections with people are the only reasons, and that is why we do it."
The girl sat calmly across from her mother after answering her own question.
With more sad memories on the horizon, I can always look back and cherish the many, many happy ones that I have already made. Sometimes obstacles meet us early in life, and sometimes they come later, but either way I am happy for all of the people that I have known in my life that are no longer living.
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 22.
Even though my birthday, recent news, and activities have made me realize how fragile life can be, I am happy with the life I was given. I know I am vulnerable to the world for thinking this way, but how else would life be worth living?
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Why Do We Have To CLOSE The Government Down? ( A Rant)
As I go to my college classes sick and tired because I have no time to get healthy, I hear about the government shutting down because the republicans keep trying to repeal Obama Care.
Seriously though, my classmates tried sitting the farthest from me because I was coughing so bad.
Not only that, but due to the shut down, I no longer have access to vital information via the government websites for a subject in one of my classes. Way to ruin my education. I do not approve congress.
For example:
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=2324
Not cool.
I usually hate stating political statements or anything even close to something political, but Congress really needs to get their priorities straight, and not close down. Seriously, I thought 4th-8th graders went to middle school and not supposedly responsible people that we elect to represent us the people. There is so much childish behavior going on that I feel like I am back in my mom's daycare, and not in a good way.
I just find it a little - or maybe a lot - ironic that I have to continue going to school and doing my homework while I am sick, and they decide to shut down the government because they cannot agree with something that is already passed. Well, life sucks and we don't always get our way. Deal with it.
I deal with the fact that I have a job where I can't call into sick.
There are bigger fish to fry. Let the poor people have health insurance because then the rest of the population will be healthier in the long run.
Servers - people that work in the food industry - hardly never take a day off even when they are sick because they can't afford to. So guess is handling your food? Sick people. But they wouldn't, would they? Most of the time, servers can't find anyone to substitute, and when they can find someone, they still can't take it off because they need the money to pay rent, feed the children, pay off student loans, and much more.
Most servers do not get benefits that include vacation time, or sick days. Well, they chose that profession, right?
Not always. Sometimes that is the only job that is available to make ends meet. I know a couple people who have to work two server jobs to stay fed, clothed, and to keep a roof over their head.
To make matters worse some of those servers don't have health care. So most of the time, they stay sick. They can't give themselves time to heal, or the money to heal quickly.
Excusing my tangent, I must clarify that the world does not stop when the government shuts down. Especially during the middle of flu season.
FLU SEASON!
Well, whatever. Who cares if poor people die? It's not like they have lives and loved ones, right?
(That was a rhetorical question that I do not really believe.)
Okay, so I have a video that has this guy stating true facts about our health care, and even though there is a little more ranting, it isn't about the government shutting down like pansy ass sissies.
Here's the video with John Green (who is amazing):
http://www.upworthy.com/his-first-4-sentences-are-interesting-the-5th-blew-my-mind-and-made-me-a-little-sick-2?c=la3
Here's another article with a video that clearly shows what is happening, and why:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/01/1242940/-Rachel-Maddow-Republican-Shutdown-Evil-And-Planned-VIDEO?detail=facebook
Here's a news article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/federal-government-appears-headed-shutdown-divided-lawmakers-reach-last-minute-deal-article-1.1471738
Most people have to remain at their jobs, while being unpaid? WTF?? How will this pay the bills and feed the family??
"Critical workers, from the Border Patrol to air-traffic controllers, would remain on the job,
unpaid."
And you may think, she doesn't know anything, that might be true.
However, Congress people are still getting paid! Wait... what? Maybe they should go without a pay check, benefits, AND health care while the government is closed.
But I've been to Student Congress, I've done that, I know what they are doing. It's really hard to pass a bill, so leave it alone, and move on. Because more people will be able to have health insurance, health insurance means healthier people, healthier people means happier people, happier people means a happier place to live.
And I also have been taught not to quit something like a game, but when the game is done, I don't try to have a rematch because I didn't like the outcome.
Who wants to live in a hostile grumpy world where there is no fun to be had because everyone is sick or dead?
Not me!
On a happier note, today is the 123rd Anniversary of Yosemite National Park! (which has no paid workers there right now because the government shut down)
All because people do not know how to compromise or even know when to shut up about a passed subject. Get it? Passed. Obama Care was passed. Conversation should be over.
Seriously though, my classmates tried sitting the farthest from me because I was coughing so bad.
Not only that, but due to the shut down, I no longer have access to vital information via the government websites for a subject in one of my classes. Way to ruin my education. I do not approve congress.
For example:
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=2324
Not cool.
I usually hate stating political statements or anything even close to something political, but Congress really needs to get their priorities straight, and not close down. Seriously, I thought 4th-8th graders went to middle school and not supposedly responsible people that we elect to represent us the people. There is so much childish behavior going on that I feel like I am back in my mom's daycare, and not in a good way.
I just find it a little - or maybe a lot - ironic that I have to continue going to school and doing my homework while I am sick, and they decide to shut down the government because they cannot agree with something that is already passed. Well, life sucks and we don't always get our way. Deal with it.
I deal with the fact that I have a job where I can't call into sick.
There are bigger fish to fry. Let the poor people have health insurance because then the rest of the population will be healthier in the long run.
Servers - people that work in the food industry - hardly never take a day off even when they are sick because they can't afford to. So guess is handling your food? Sick people. But they wouldn't, would they? Most of the time, servers can't find anyone to substitute, and when they can find someone, they still can't take it off because they need the money to pay rent, feed the children, pay off student loans, and much more.
Most servers do not get benefits that include vacation time, or sick days. Well, they chose that profession, right?
Not always. Sometimes that is the only job that is available to make ends meet. I know a couple people who have to work two server jobs to stay fed, clothed, and to keep a roof over their head.
To make matters worse some of those servers don't have health care. So most of the time, they stay sick. They can't give themselves time to heal, or the money to heal quickly.
Excusing my tangent, I must clarify that the world does not stop when the government shuts down. Especially during the middle of flu season.
FLU SEASON!
Well, whatever. Who cares if poor people die? It's not like they have lives and loved ones, right?
(That was a rhetorical question that I do not really believe.)
Okay, so I have a video that has this guy stating true facts about our health care, and even though there is a little more ranting, it isn't about the government shutting down like pansy ass sissies.
Here's the video with John Green (who is amazing):
http://www.upworthy.com/his-first-4-sentences-are-interesting-the-5th-blew-my-mind-and-made-me-a-little-sick-2?c=la3
Here's another article with a video that clearly shows what is happening, and why:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/01/1242940/-Rachel-Maddow-Republican-Shutdown-Evil-And-Planned-VIDEO?detail=facebook
Here's a news article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/federal-government-appears-headed-shutdown-divided-lawmakers-reach-last-minute-deal-article-1.1471738
Most people have to remain at their jobs, while being unpaid? WTF?? How will this pay the bills and feed the family??
"Critical workers, from the Border Patrol to air-traffic controllers, would remain on the job,
unpaid."
And you may think, she doesn't know anything, that might be true.
However, Congress people are still getting paid! Wait... what? Maybe they should go without a pay check, benefits, AND health care while the government is closed.
But I've been to Student Congress, I've done that, I know what they are doing. It's really hard to pass a bill, so leave it alone, and move on. Because more people will be able to have health insurance, health insurance means healthier people, healthier people means happier people, happier people means a happier place to live.
And I also have been taught not to quit something like a game, but when the game is done, I don't try to have a rematch because I didn't like the outcome.
Who wants to live in a hostile grumpy world where there is no fun to be had because everyone is sick or dead?
Not me!
On a happier note, today is the 123rd Anniversary of Yosemite National Park! (which has no paid workers there right now because the government shut down)
All because people do not know how to compromise or even know when to shut up about a passed subject. Get it? Passed. Obama Care was passed. Conversation should be over.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
The Plague of Writing, Thoughts Mulling in My Brain
I'm told by many that I need to write more on my blog - deep down I understand this - but I am constantly anxious about it. Not wanting people to read what I write is a troublesome aspect for being a writer. I am in a new class about writing, and there was an assignment to write a Literary Autobiography. A literary autobiography is basically talking about your experiences with learning how to write, and while writing this essay, I found the true reason why I do not like others reading my writing.
When I was taught how to write, I was first told to tell a story. I am good at stories, so creative writing was easy for me. There were only a few rules such as grammar, and even those I was able to get away with ignoring those rules sometimes. But when I got a little older, I was taught how to write a five paragraph essay with all these rules that daunted me. The teachers just threw us into it, and I wonder why they made us write down stories at all if those are not allowed into the so called 'academic' writing that the teachers tried so hard to sculpt us into creating. However, there has never been any freedom in that because there are usually specific subjects that the teachers wanted us to talk about. This is understandable now that I am older, but why isn't it explained to that child? The child does not understand why writing down stories is not good enough anymore. The child only learns that if she does not follow the rules then she will get negative comments and a terrible grade. This is not fair to the child.
If anything could change with academic writing, I would hope that it would be the teaching of how to go from creative writing to academic writing, and given the knowledge of why both of these kinds of writing are important for each other. An example of how creative writing and academic writing mesh well together is that just like creative writing, academic writing must get from point A to point B, and that without point A there is no way to get to point B. Because there must be a beginning in a story, so too there needs to be an introduction in an essay, and so on.
I find too many people that don't like to read or write because the content that teachers and/or elders have made them read and/or write about things that the child is not interested in, and that is the saddest thing to witness. Reading should be something a person does because they enjoy it. For me, when I finally got into reading - yes I hated it until I picked up Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - the books became so alive it was like watching a movie, but better.
What is wrong with our society that reading and writing have become so dreaded? I did not dread writing papers or stories when I was little. In fact, I showed everyone my stories because I was so proud of them, but not anymore. I die a little inside when I know that people are reading my work, and I wait for the judgment.
The essay that I recently wrote was the first thing that I allowed my boyfriend to read. Honestly, we have been dating for a while now, and even though we write in the same room together frequently, he is not allowed to read my writing. Ever. In fact, when I notice that he is glancing/ peeking over my shoulder trying to read it, I get really mad and shut my computer. And being a man of few words, he hardly spoke about it. However, I do think that he was afraid that he would say something wrong about it, and that I would never let him read anymore of my writing.
Even though I have been mulling this over in my brain and then ranting about it for some time, I still think that something needs to be done about how people teach writing. I know I am not the only one that dreads papers like the plague, and I wonder 'what went wrong? How did this dread for writing happen to so many?'
When I was taught how to write, I was first told to tell a story. I am good at stories, so creative writing was easy for me. There were only a few rules such as grammar, and even those I was able to get away with ignoring those rules sometimes. But when I got a little older, I was taught how to write a five paragraph essay with all these rules that daunted me. The teachers just threw us into it, and I wonder why they made us write down stories at all if those are not allowed into the so called 'academic' writing that the teachers tried so hard to sculpt us into creating. However, there has never been any freedom in that because there are usually specific subjects that the teachers wanted us to talk about. This is understandable now that I am older, but why isn't it explained to that child? The child does not understand why writing down stories is not good enough anymore. The child only learns that if she does not follow the rules then she will get negative comments and a terrible grade. This is not fair to the child.
If anything could change with academic writing, I would hope that it would be the teaching of how to go from creative writing to academic writing, and given the knowledge of why both of these kinds of writing are important for each other. An example of how creative writing and academic writing mesh well together is that just like creative writing, academic writing must get from point A to point B, and that without point A there is no way to get to point B. Because there must be a beginning in a story, so too there needs to be an introduction in an essay, and so on.
I find too many people that don't like to read or write because the content that teachers and/or elders have made them read and/or write about things that the child is not interested in, and that is the saddest thing to witness. Reading should be something a person does because they enjoy it. For me, when I finally got into reading - yes I hated it until I picked up Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - the books became so alive it was like watching a movie, but better.
What is wrong with our society that reading and writing have become so dreaded? I did not dread writing papers or stories when I was little. In fact, I showed everyone my stories because I was so proud of them, but not anymore. I die a little inside when I know that people are reading my work, and I wait for the judgment.
The essay that I recently wrote was the first thing that I allowed my boyfriend to read. Honestly, we have been dating for a while now, and even though we write in the same room together frequently, he is not allowed to read my writing. Ever. In fact, when I notice that he is glancing/ peeking over my shoulder trying to read it, I get really mad and shut my computer. And being a man of few words, he hardly spoke about it. However, I do think that he was afraid that he would say something wrong about it, and that I would never let him read anymore of my writing.
Even though I have been mulling this over in my brain and then ranting about it for some time, I still think that something needs to be done about how people teach writing. I know I am not the only one that dreads papers like the plague, and I wonder 'what went wrong? How did this dread for writing happen to so many?'
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Just Do What You Feel Like, You Needn't Make it a Mission
Words to live by. A wise man told me this morning, "just do what you feel like, you needn't make it a mission". He was talking about me writing more in my blog, but I feel like it works with everything else going on in my life and needs that advice applied to. Missions are not very fun for me because the I feel tied down and then the crazy lady screaming "FREEDOM!!" comes out again. Maybe that is secretly me, and I am secretly crazy. Hmmm... Oh well. Who really knows anyway?
I want to find my bliss, but if I make it a mission then it goes all down hill, so then how do I find my bliss if I am supposed to be searching for it but not at that same time? Does that make any sense? I think the answer lies in the wise words of "just do what you feel like". If I do what I love and forget to hunt down my bliss then I would wander to it, right? It's like trying to catch a butterfly, when you chase them, they fly away from you, but if you forget them and go about your business they land on you. So your bliss is a butterfly.
The other day, I went to a show with dueling pianos with my family. Let me tell you, it was a blast! I highly recommend going to see something like that because I was laughing my butt off. At one point they had a woman come up and hold the harmonica for one of the men playing "Piano Man" and whenever she didn't hold it up to his mouth on time, he would try to play without it to give her the hint. He make a "ththththththt" sound until she put it to his lips. Yepp, pretty darn great. I was glad that I was not in the front row, so I wouldn't be picked.
While I was in Ireland, I saw many great shows and performances in the theatre. It was amazing, and so powerful, but my favorite part of going had to be when I was able to explore the countryside. I really enjoyed going to see the Cliffs of Insanity (the Princess Bride anyone?) a.k.a. the Cliffs of Moher. SO beautiful! And even though you are not supposed to lean over the edge, I still did. I know I live on the edge. I am that cool.
Then I climbed many little stepping stones that create the Giants of Causeway. These were all created naturally by lava deep in the ocean, but many like to think that it was a bridge where giants would cross to get from Ireland to Scotland because these stones reemerge near Scotland. Pretty neat, right?
I told the wise man this morning that I would share a poem that I wrote for a previous class today. It's an attempt at a sonnet. I hope you enjoy!
I want to find my bliss, but if I make it a mission then it goes all down hill, so then how do I find my bliss if I am supposed to be searching for it but not at that same time? Does that make any sense? I think the answer lies in the wise words of "just do what you feel like". If I do what I love and forget to hunt down my bliss then I would wander to it, right? It's like trying to catch a butterfly, when you chase them, they fly away from you, but if you forget them and go about your business they land on you. So your bliss is a butterfly.
The other day, I went to a show with dueling pianos with my family. Let me tell you, it was a blast! I highly recommend going to see something like that because I was laughing my butt off. At one point they had a woman come up and hold the harmonica for one of the men playing "Piano Man" and whenever she didn't hold it up to his mouth on time, he would try to play without it to give her the hint. He make a "ththththththt" sound until she put it to his lips. Yepp, pretty darn great. I was glad that I was not in the front row, so I wouldn't be picked.
While I was in Ireland, I saw many great shows and performances in the theatre. It was amazing, and so powerful, but my favorite part of going had to be when I was able to explore the countryside. I really enjoyed going to see the Cliffs of Insanity (the Princess Bride anyone?) a.k.a. the Cliffs of Moher. SO beautiful! And even though you are not supposed to lean over the edge, I still did. I know I live on the edge. I am that cool.
Then I climbed many little stepping stones that create the Giants of Causeway. These were all created naturally by lava deep in the ocean, but many like to think that it was a bridge where giants would cross to get from Ireland to Scotland because these stones reemerge near Scotland. Pretty neat, right?
F.Y.I Giants of Causeway is in Northern Ireland while the Cliffs of Moher is in the Republic of Ireland.
Just ignore me in the pictures and look at the landscape.
However, if you notice I do look good in these photos, a friend of mine asked me "who wouldn't look good with Ireland in the background?"
Hmmm... I don't know.
I told the wise man this morning that I would share a poem that I wrote for a previous class today. It's an attempt at a sonnet. I hope you enjoy!
The Ugly Truth
your molasses
words linger in naïve ears
puffs of white
breath falter out into the dark sky
sweet soft words
mislead but you’re still a dear
I watch the
parade while you casually brush my thigh
secret side
glances are shared, you are wrong
you grab my hand
and I flinch in revulsion
together and
rotten, we don’t belong
you cannot stop
this new revolution
swiftly I pull
away from your bruising grip
your talons
infect my roughly gouged wounds
poison diffuses
and slowly blood drips
this does not
work, my witty immunity confounds
eyes huge, you
realize you shall not conquer
the sweet façade
slackens, you’re a monster.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Do What You Love
I have not written anything outside from class work for many moons, and I am starting to wonder, why? Do I not love writing anymore, or do I just find excuses upon excuses to hide my fear? What fear? My answer is fear of not writing well, but a wise man once said "write drunk, edit sober". Ernest Hemmingway knew something about writing, didn't he? The thing is, is that I have many stories to write. Thoughts pop into my head all the time, and they are as wonderful as Wonderland, but I forget them or do not think I am able to convey world that I see correctly. It comes from me being a perfectionist. I have broken promises to myself about writing more diligently, and taking the time to do so, and it wasn't until I read an article about traveling that really got me thinking about it all.
Here is the link:
http://infinitesatori.org/2013/06/25/do-yourself-a-favor-and-buy-that-damn-plane-ticket-already/
I have always wanted to follow my bliss because then I would end up where I wanted to be in life, but good intentions pave the way to hell. What do I have to fear? Rejection? I know that rejection is one of my deepest fears, and so it not being good enough; however, one can never become good enough if the person does not keep practicing, right?
Anyway, during the month of May, I went to Ireland for three weeks, and I must say that those three weeks were not enough. The traveling bug has seeped into my bones and if I am unable to travel for a period of time I become a crazy lady that screams "I NEED FREEDOM!!" to all the passing children, and make them cry. I have found that neither parties are happy about this. In the past couple of years I have gone on a road trip to Toronto with my best friend, flew to Hawaii to visit family, and study aboard in Ireland, these things do not include the STLF trips to Washington D.C. and to Dallas, TX. This is all due to the traveling bug, I promise.
While I was in Ireland, I went to both the republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Scary, I know right?! But it was pretty darn awesome.
I spent the first week and a half in Dublin, and after realizing to never rely on street names other than Dame Street and Grafton Street and by only using distinct landmarks or buildings to navigate the city, it was quite easy to get around. Walking and public transportation is the best way to get around. Oh, also, when the locals give directions, they talk of lower and higher streets. Lower means closer to the river and higher means further from the river. The river being in the center of the city going directly east to west. All directions deal with the river.
Throughout my meandering, I went to the Blarney Castle near Cork with a group of girls. To get to Cork, all one needs to do is go to the train station, buy a ticket and get on it. In three hours, bam! You are now in Cork and all you need to do is walk a couple blocks to get to the bus station where you buy the ticket on the bus. Make sure to turn left when you leave the entrance of the train station to get to the center of town.
We went the opposite way and a nice older lady stopped us saying, "You young girls are going to the wrong way, there is nothing down there."
People are so helpful.
HERE COMES THE SPAM OF PICTURES!!! MWAHAHA!!
Us in front of the Blarney Castle.
So much wind.
Getting warmed up in the very large and outdated fireplace in the family room of the Blarney Castle.
This is looking down at the family room that a friend and I were standing in the previous picture.
Went to the very top to see the stone with one of my gal pals! So proud of her! She is terrified of heights, and with her determination to see the Blarney stone, conquered it for a short time.
Here is the link:
http://infinitesatori.org/2013/06/25/do-yourself-a-favor-and-buy-that-damn-plane-ticket-already/
I have always wanted to follow my bliss because then I would end up where I wanted to be in life, but good intentions pave the way to hell. What do I have to fear? Rejection? I know that rejection is one of my deepest fears, and so it not being good enough; however, one can never become good enough if the person does not keep practicing, right?
Anyway, during the month of May, I went to Ireland for three weeks, and I must say that those three weeks were not enough. The traveling bug has seeped into my bones and if I am unable to travel for a period of time I become a crazy lady that screams "I NEED FREEDOM!!" to all the passing children, and make them cry. I have found that neither parties are happy about this. In the past couple of years I have gone on a road trip to Toronto with my best friend, flew to Hawaii to visit family, and study aboard in Ireland, these things do not include the STLF trips to Washington D.C. and to Dallas, TX. This is all due to the traveling bug, I promise.
While I was in Ireland, I went to both the republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Scary, I know right?! But it was pretty darn awesome.
I spent the first week and a half in Dublin, and after realizing to never rely on street names other than Dame Street and Grafton Street and by only using distinct landmarks or buildings to navigate the city, it was quite easy to get around. Walking and public transportation is the best way to get around. Oh, also, when the locals give directions, they talk of lower and higher streets. Lower means closer to the river and higher means further from the river. The river being in the center of the city going directly east to west. All directions deal with the river.
Throughout my meandering, I went to the Blarney Castle near Cork with a group of girls. To get to Cork, all one needs to do is go to the train station, buy a ticket and get on it. In three hours, bam! You are now in Cork and all you need to do is walk a couple blocks to get to the bus station where you buy the ticket on the bus. Make sure to turn left when you leave the entrance of the train station to get to the center of town.
We went the opposite way and a nice older lady stopped us saying, "You young girls are going to the wrong way, there is nothing down there."
People are so helpful.
HERE COMES THE SPAM OF PICTURES!!! MWAHAHA!!
They have a poison garden in the castle grounds. Rhubarb leaves are toxic apparently and during one of the food shortages in one of the World Wars, doctors said people could eat the leaves in very small quantities. Many people died from this.
I like to sit in the old windows. It makes me happy even though I now have a billion pictures of me in multiple windows where I don't even know where I am when I look at them. Priceless Taylor move right there ladies and gentlemen.
While in Cork, we went to a fish and chips take out place called The Fisher's Wife, and it was amazing. We saw some other people checking it out, and we told them (since they wanted somewhere they could sit down) that there was a sign saying that if you wanted to, you could order your food and they would deliver it to you at the Pub across the street and that you would get a free beer or something. The fish was amazing, and I am not a big fan of fish.
On the way back to Dublin, a nice man sat across from me on the train. Turns out he used to work with Samuel Beckett as a pause timer. He just got back from playing for a Duchess in Italy (because he is a musician). He saw me writing in my journal and told me that I would become a great writer because there must be so many shenanigans and adventures already written down. I don't really know about that, but I like to think so occasionally.
Back in Dublin, I saw the Book of Kells, and even though it is super amazing and cool, we hardly had any time to look at it, nor were we able to take any pictures. The no picture taking does make sense though.
That is only a pinch of the adventures that I had over abroad, but I have found that somethings need to be broken up in parts otherwise the task seems to daunting.
Monday, March 4, 2013
The Weekend Mornings
Lately, I have been writing a lot of poetry for one of my classes, and so I decided to write about my weekend mornings. Of course, the poem isn't finished because I'll need to revise it some more but here it is.
The Morning Sun
By: Taylor Morrill
slowly moving sun
brought sluggish bodies
cuddling closer
seeping warmth into skin
we rouse from deep slumber
touch and smooth covers
curl further into blankets
wrap over our heads
whispering softly
a wide grin rolls into hushed laughter
morning unhurriedly comes
stomachs lurch in hunger
nourishment postponed, for now
breath flows from one to the other
joy languidly overcomes me
your arms envelop me
linger within the cocoon
sunlight pours through curtains
reminding us of the coming day
and the impending tasks ahead
Yep, the mornings are the best part of my day, well, at least during the weekend. I admit that I truly love being lazy.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Terrifying Choices
Okay, I haven't been consistent with my word at all. Resolutions do not become me apparently. So here is an update, I was accepted in the study abroad program to go to Ireland, but I was also given an opportunity to apply for this internship in Berlin, Germany for the same amount of time. Turns out, the programs over lap, and I won't be able to do both of them at the same time. The dilemma? Well, Berlin will help me tremendously with my language skills, and it is super cheap compared to Ireland. To be honest, I can go on a vacation to Ireland for the whole summer and probably spend the same amount that I would if I went on this 3 week study abroad trip. Crazy, right? I'm not the richest girl on the planet, nor am I remotely close to it, so this is a huge deal. Not only that, but I would be able to work with school age children in Berlin, and that right there is something that is right up my alley. The problem? Well, only 10 people are allowed to go on this internship, and applications are being accepted from multiple schools. MULTIPLE. I am gunning for the fact that I get it, but it still is only a probable case scenario. To say that I am train wreck about it is an understatement.
But that isn't all, my Spring Break trip to Dallas is getting closer and closer, and I don't feel ready to lead 35 other college students across the country. In fact, I feel like I am stumbling through all the preparation work, and I don't really know what to do. How to do it all is a little daunting. And as time progresses, my anxiety and panic start to bubble to the surface. Am I ready for this? Probably not, but I am still going to give it my all when I do it.
My family has always told me that if my dreams don't scare the shit out of you, then you're not dreaming big enough. And for some reason, I listened to them. I find myself always volunteering or applying to do something that just terrifies me, and always somehow getting it. I ask myself all the time, why am I doing this? Am I just torturing myself, or is it the little voice in my head saying, "if you don't push yourself out of your comfort zone, will you be satisfied with the life you live?" My answer is obvious in the fact that it is a no. I will not be satisfied that I didn't do anything worthwhile when I could have. Then I look back at everything that I have already done before, and I am proud of myself. I did things that I never thought I would have, and I know that even if I would be hesitant to do them again, I would still be able to do them with pleasure.
But that isn't all, my Spring Break trip to Dallas is getting closer and closer, and I don't feel ready to lead 35 other college students across the country. In fact, I feel like I am stumbling through all the preparation work, and I don't really know what to do. How to do it all is a little daunting. And as time progresses, my anxiety and panic start to bubble to the surface. Am I ready for this? Probably not, but I am still going to give it my all when I do it.
My family has always told me that if my dreams don't scare the shit out of you, then you're not dreaming big enough. And for some reason, I listened to them. I find myself always volunteering or applying to do something that just terrifies me, and always somehow getting it. I ask myself all the time, why am I doing this? Am I just torturing myself, or is it the little voice in my head saying, "if you don't push yourself out of your comfort zone, will you be satisfied with the life you live?" My answer is obvious in the fact that it is a no. I will not be satisfied that I didn't do anything worthwhile when I could have. Then I look back at everything that I have already done before, and I am proud of myself. I did things that I never thought I would have, and I know that even if I would be hesitant to do them again, I would still be able to do them with pleasure.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Resolutions and Shitty First Drafts
Let's face the truth, I am terrible with keeping up with my blog, but I guess it is because I am terrible prioritizing time for my writing. In fact, I have only been able to barely write stories and poetry down, and the poetry is for a class that I am taking. I keep saying to myself that I'll have time later. It's always later, and then as time slowly goes by that later becomes a missed opportunity and a never. If anyone wants to read about how I got that notion, then I recommend reading Middlemarch by George Eliot. It is a little slow going; however, the writing is brilliant. During the whole time I was reading it, I had resented my professor for including it in the assigned reading, but in the end I am quite happy that I read the book because I would not have had the ability to realize that I was feeding my writing to fake time that I had in life and that it would have become a squandered joke.
It's a little late and I understand that many people do not believe that New Year's Resolutions work. To be honest, I am one of those people, but I think that this year I will do one. Let's hope that I keep up with it, and become more reliable with the resolution.
So, here it goes... My resolution for this year and others to come is that I write on my blog once a week. It does not have to be long or fabulous, but it has to be written in once a week. Now warning to many, there will probably be many shitty posts because honestly every first draft is shitty. Even great writers have shitty first, second, and third drafts. Apparently the trick in writing is to make it seem like it was an effortless whim that happened to be written down. I guess that seems legit.
With my resolution given a little behind the times, I also have great news. I am planning to be studying abroad in Ireland for the Summer term. Isn't that AMAZING??!?! For some reason, I have always wanted to travel to Ireland. My plan is to go back packing through Europe afterward. The first to places on my list to visit after Ireland are England and Scotland. If I am able to go on this trip, then I will be staying there for three weeks. I would be in Dublin, Belfast, and Galway most of the time, so I would be able to explore the different parts of the island.
It's a little late and I understand that many people do not believe that New Year's Resolutions work. To be honest, I am one of those people, but I think that this year I will do one. Let's hope that I keep up with it, and become more reliable with the resolution.
So, here it goes... My resolution for this year and others to come is that I write on my blog once a week. It does not have to be long or fabulous, but it has to be written in once a week. Now warning to many, there will probably be many shitty posts because honestly every first draft is shitty. Even great writers have shitty first, second, and third drafts. Apparently the trick in writing is to make it seem like it was an effortless whim that happened to be written down. I guess that seems legit.
With my resolution given a little behind the times, I also have great news. I am planning to be studying abroad in Ireland for the Summer term. Isn't that AMAZING??!?! For some reason, I have always wanted to travel to Ireland. My plan is to go back packing through Europe afterward. The first to places on my list to visit after Ireland are England and Scotland. If I am able to go on this trip, then I will be staying there for three weeks. I would be in Dublin, Belfast, and Galway most of the time, so I would be able to explore the different parts of the island.
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