The Plague of Writing, Thoughts Mulling in My Brain

I'm told by many that I need to write more on my blog - deep down I understand this - but I am constantly anxious about it. Not wanting people to read what I write is a troublesome aspect for being a writer. I am in a new class about writing, and there was an assignment to write a Literary Autobiography. A literary autobiography is basically talking about your experiences with learning how to write, and while writing this essay, I found the true reason why I do not like others reading my writing.

When I was taught how to write, I was first told to tell a story. I am good at stories, so creative writing was easy for me. There were only a few rules such as grammar, and even those I was able to get away with ignoring those rules sometimes. But when I got a little older, I was taught how to write a five paragraph essay with all these rules that daunted me. The teachers just threw us into it, and I wonder why they made us write down stories at all if those are not allowed into the so called 'academic' writing that the teachers tried so hard to sculpt us into creating. However,  there has never been any freedom in that because there are usually specific subjects that the teachers wanted us to talk about. This is understandable now that I am older, but why isn't it explained to that child? The child does not understand why writing down stories is not good enough anymore. The child only learns that if she does not follow the rules then she will get negative comments and a terrible grade. This is not fair to the child.

If anything could change with academic writing, I would hope that it would be the teaching of how to go from creative writing to academic writing, and given the knowledge of why both of these kinds of writing are important for each other. An example of how creative writing and academic writing mesh well together is that just like creative writing, academic writing must get from point A to point B, and that without point A there is no way to get to point B. Because there must be a beginning in a story, so too there needs to be an introduction in an essay, and so on.

I find too many people that don't like to read or write because the content that teachers and/or elders have made them read and/or write about things that the child is not interested in, and that is the saddest thing to witness. Reading should be something a person does because they enjoy it. For me, when I finally got into reading - yes I hated it until I picked up Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - the books became so alive it was like watching a movie, but better.

What is wrong with our society that reading and writing have become so dreaded? I did not dread writing papers or stories when I was little. In fact, I showed everyone my stories because I was so proud of them, but not anymore. I die a little inside when I know that people are reading my work, and I wait for the judgment.

The essay that I recently wrote was the first thing that I allowed my boyfriend to read. Honestly, we have been dating for a while now, and even though we write in the same room together frequently, he is not allowed to read my writing. Ever. In fact, when I notice that he is glancing/ peeking over my shoulder trying to read it, I get really mad and shut my computer. And being a man of few words, he hardly spoke about it. However, I do think that he was afraid that he would say something wrong about it, and that I would never let him read anymore of my writing.

Even though I have been mulling this over in my brain and then ranting about it for some time, I still think that something needs to be done about how people teach writing. I know I am not the only one that dreads papers like the plague, and I wonder 'what went wrong? How did this dread for writing happen to so many?'