Tomorrow is My Birthday.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 22.
My great aunt Carolyn is in the last stages of her life, and I am only beginning mine. Throughout my life I have endured many close loved ones dying, and I thought it was normal. Now, I know differently.

Dealing with the blows of losing loved ones created a child that crushingly gripped onto the people that she already loved. An ice wall gradually formed creating a shield from herself and new people. It was crystal clear, so the newcomers and herself would be able to see, speak, and interact. Learning from all of the death, she became sorrowful and became deeply depressed. Hiding her sadness, she when about her life as best she could. Sitting next to her bed was a picture of her grandmother and her young two-year-old self, every night she willed to remember any kind of memory from her brain. None would come. Only the memory of the story being told to her by her mother, "Grandma Judy loved you very much. When this photo was taken, she told me about how you not being able to remember her hurt the most."

After being sullen for a year or two, the girl had a dawning thought while talking to her mother about all of the people that they had lost in their lives. "Why do we love, mom,? If everyone in our lives that we hold dear to us are taken away or leave? Why put ourselves in that pain?"

Her mother looked very sad at her, and didn't answer.

"I know why. I know that our lives are not worth living without those people. The reason why it is so hard to lose those people is because of the love and the memories. To live a life without any sort of love is a life not worth living; in fact, it is not living at all, only existing. Those memories are what enrich our lives, and without them we would have nothing. Some would say that life is about the pursuit of knowledge, but without someone to share that knowledge with then all is for naught. The knowledge that was gained is gone after death if there is no one to share with. Many people focus on the negative aspects of life or tasks such as: working, making money, buying stuff that no one needs, and cleaning the house. Those are not the moments that make life worth it. Love and making connections with people are the only reasons, and that is why we do it."

The girl sat calmly across from her mother after answering her own question.

With more sad memories on the horizon, I can always look back and cherish the many, many happy ones that I have already made. Sometimes obstacles meet us early in life, and sometimes they come later, but either way I am happy for all of the people that I have known in my life that are no longer living.
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 22.
Even though my birthday, recent news, and activities have made me realize how fragile life can be, I am happy with the life I was given. I know I am vulnerable to the world for thinking this way, but how else would life be worth living?