A couple months and Miss Universe

These past couple of months have been a whirl wind. I feel like I have dropped off the end of the world because of how busy I have been. I hate when I am so utterly busy that I can not have a lazy day. The best thing in the world is being able to cuddle up in blankets with people that I love while reading books and watching movies.  During these days, the one rule is no being productive. I wish could have had more time for those kinds of days. I think I signed up to do too much to tell the truth, and I am paying for it because my creativity juices are dried up and there is a drought happening in my imagination. With too many leadership positions at school, I have found that with my free time I want nothing to do with reading or writing outside of assignments, and I have a lot of those due to me being an English major.

So, with that said here is the catch up in my life. This year, I work as a Residential Advisor at my college, and I love it. There are challenges that I have had to face because of this job, but it is so rewarding, and I would not change it for the world. I have a wonderful boyfriend that has visited me these past couple days in my neck of the woods. Showing him around my hometown and seeing his reactions to it all was amusing to say the least. I also am a leader in a couple of student organizations that kind of suck up a lot of time, and produces a bunch of stress, so maybe that is one of the reasons why I am not writing. Or maybe I am becoming a hermit again with my writing and do not want people to read what I write anymore. I am probably confused about it all. Yep, I'll use that.

Right now, I am watching the Miss Universe show with my mom, and it makes me so sad...maybe angry as well. All of those girls are super skinny with long curled hair. Making them also wear bikinis is just wrong. Wearing those bikinis and walking down that isle reminded me of the Victoria Secret Winter Show, and that is not right. These girls should not be tall and thin like a model. Almost all of them look the same. Where are the real women with curves, and short hair. Being a lady who has had a pixie cut and loved it makes me wonder if this Miss Universe thing is keeping the women down. I want to see women with piercing and tattoos. I really don't care for this, but I do believe that they should show women who aren't afraid to accept the fact that they have child bearing hips, which no woman should ever be ashamed of. They also have their make-up done the same. Where is their personality? How do they usually do their make-up or do their hair? When women are in these pageants,  I always hear comments about "I am not plastic" or "I don't want people to think I am stuffy or a barbie", and all I can think is maybe you should stop dressing like one and start being human.  Yes, they talk about their interests, but I think that is not enough. However, my thoughts are not important to most, and not everyone has the same way to go about a situation. Like some say, "there is more than one way to skin a cat." These shows are also getting cheesier and cheesier. Talk about gross.
Thanks for reading my rant. You now may go on with your life.

The Questions of Home

Earlier today I had a great friend ask me if I felt weird about being back in my college town and staying on campus already. My answer was a delightful surprise, "No." It hasn't felt odd about living in my freshman dormitory again because I am home. I am where I am supposed to be, and I am loving it. Don't get me wrong, I will always feel like my hometown is home as well because my family lives there. And even if I love it there, I know deep down that I will never be able to live there on a long term basis.

It took me a long while this summer to get back in the swing of things in my hometown, and for a while  I hated the place and the resented having to talk to some of the people, but as time progressed I remembered why I love it there. It didn't hurt that I was able to see my family more often. I became happy to be there again, but I knew that it was best for me go sooner rather than later. I am glad that I went back to college when I did this summer because after only two months there again, I started resenting my job. That is the first step for me to start hating my hometown again, and I didn't want that to happen again. I couldn't let that happen.

It is always sad to realize all of these facts, but I know that I have made so many improvements by doing so, and that will always make me happy in the long run.

The COLOR RUN!!

This past weekend I have been in the twin cities visiting friends and family while waiting to do none other than the Color Run! Since my doctor had previously advised me to not run during this event and only walk, I was quite dishearten (literally) to do it anymore. However, I told myself that stuff happens in life and that even though I could not run it like I hoped, I would still do it because I had signed up.

Turns out, since my previous doctor visit, she gave me the thumbs up for being able to run it!! Isn't that fantastic? My problems had cleared up enough to let me go on with my plans for running it. Albeit I will not be able to run it as I planned, but I can still give it my best!! I am so excited!!

Tomorrow I will have the best run of my life! And the happiest one too!

...

The Color Run was AMAZING!! It so great to be able to run with others and feel the comrade all around. With so many people, I thought that it would have felt cold and almost unwelcoming, but it was the complete opposite. There were many high fives, laughter, and "great job guys; keep it up!" And all from my fellow runners that I have never met before. Since this race is family friendly and not timed, the pressure to do my best was lowered and the need to have an awesome time was expanded. I was meeting a friend of mine there who I had been training with, and we started out at the 8 a.m. start line.

Here we are beautifully white and clean, but the best part about this 5k is knowing that we weren't going to stay like that for long! :D 

This is after finishing the Color Run. Yes, I had passed the finish line. It wasn't the end of the 5K Color Run though. We still had the Color Run festival to participate in. Which was 15 minutes after we had finished our experiences with running through color. 

Underneath is the festival. Don't worry the color is all natural. This picture shows only a small amount of how wickedly awesome this was. 

Here I am!! All colorfied and loving it!! It was amazing! I highly recommend for everyone one to experience it at least once. 

The Little Boy at the Parade

This week during the 4th of July is probably one of the most busiest weeks because of work. I don't really celebrate it other than watch the fireworks and enjoy working at a very fast pace during the parade. In the small town I live in, I can honestly say that I would not want to be in any other town during that day. I love working at the ice cream shop during the parade because of the people watching. there are so many characters that come through.

During the parade, a little boy runs up to the window and asks very urgently for a kid cone and throws candy in the window while also handing my boss his gift certificate for that same cone. As he runs off I notice that he has a wagon with the label The Lego on it trailing behind him. It was then that I knew that he cut out of the parade to get the cone promised to him without finishing the rest of the parade. That cone was serious business.

LIfe in the Summer

Okay, so I haven't been writing in a long time, and I have found that even though I haven't really had time to write that I was also making excuses not to. Telling myself that I am too busy to do something I love, but I have found myself not wanting to write. I have been dreading it. Why? I still don't know the answer to that, but I do know one thing. I have lost my mojo in writing. Why haven't I been dying to write down my stories about my STLF trip or my trip to Hawaii? Or the fact that my life seems to change in a blink of an eye, and the only things constant are my family, friends, and where I live? It doesn't make sense to me since I have been writing in journals since I was seven. Before I even liked to read no less. Sometimes I wonder if I feel like I am not creating the adventures or living the way I said I would in this blog, but then I think to myself that life will always be an adventure, and whether I do anything or not about it, it will send me down a path. So what if my life is messed up, and my big adventures sometimes need to be set aside? This my one and only life and I need to live it. In a way I am saying the stupid saying YOLO (you only live once), but I don't mean to go out and get trashed and party it up. I want to do something meaningful to me. Some say that YOLO is our today's version of carpe diem, but does it really matter?

So life has in a sense thrown me a couple curve balls and I ended up striking out. The Color Run that I have been training for since February is now a somewhat diminished goal. I have been having some medical issues lately that I don't know if they stem from my heart problem, or if it is a totally new problem, and my doctor has told me to stop running. I will be able to walk the 5k Color Run, but I am not going to jog it like I planned to. This breaks my heart, but I am no quitter so tomorrow during my next doctor visit I will ask if I can begin training again. It is in less than 15 days now, but I am certain that if I can start training again and be able to run it somewhat that I will be happy in the long run.

To make matters better, I probably shouldn't be having any caffeine, but I am cheating today. My own little rebellion. :D HaHA! Take that! I'll drink a iced latte if I want to.

So between two jobs, I have been going to the doctor and physical therapist, which has been giving me no time to myself, but today and yesterday I've been given a couple days off. And let me tell you, I am not wasting them at all. Yesterday I was able to see my bestie Lissy while going out on the lake. It was gorgeous and hot! Perfect day for the beach. I must admit that life on the lake in Minnesota is the best. Taking boat rides out to Agency Bay and hanging out soothes my soul. Every calms in my head and there is nothing to worry about. I don't have to worry about work or getting anything done. I just sit and relax. Nothing beats my time on the boat. The wind on my face, the sun beating down on my 50 SPF lathered skin, the sound and feel of riding on the water. It's a perfect moment in time.

Life not always go my way and I may sometimes loose my mojo, but when I am on the boat none of it matters. Some people think that living up north in Minnesota is crazy, and maybe I am crazy, but many don't realize what their missing out on. I know I will have to leave it someday, but it will never stop calling to my soul, and that I am grateful for. 

I'm in Hawaii Baby!!

After my 24 hour hellish flight, I arrived in Hawaii!! Because of some mechanical issues, I only had fifteen minutes to get on my connecting flight to Hawaii, so when I made it to Hawaii, my luggage was left behind in L.A. Although it was inconvenient to not get my baggage, I was able to get it later the next day.  I was worried about it, but I was now in paradise, so it wasn't that bad, except that I had no shorts. During the flight, many people were asking me why I was going to Hawaii, and alone at that, I kind of wish I could have told them that I was going on vacation on my own just to stick it to them (because I think that people can go on vacation alone), but I came here to visit family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. They are the rock that keeps everything inside me together, and I do not know where I would be without them.

When I realized that I had no luggage to claim and I had talked to the people about it, then I was picked up by my cousin Ashleigh and her cute little boys O, and J. Being given a perfect Aloha welcome with two leis, and some catching up to do, we set out for her home.

The next morning I woke up at 4:30 to find that everyone and everything was still sleeping. Even the sun wasn't peeking over Hawaii. When I had coffee that morning though, I was able to appreciate the spectacular view that was hidden the night before by darkness.

There is a mountain in the background. It's gorgeous, however this picture doesn't really do it justice.

Here I am in what I like to call Paradise.

You can kind of see it in this one.

After breakfast, Ash, the kids, and I walked the three blocks to the beach. It was the first time in six years that I would be swimming in the ocean.

We even made sand castles.

We were having a blast in the sand.

Afterwards, Ash and I explored some of the shops in the town she lives in, and I bought a couple of things since I still hadn't received my luggage by then, and didn't really have anything to wear.

Then it was time for a wienie roast with the family. My cousin Megan came over with her kids, A and E. It was great being able to see them.

And that was my first day in Hawaii for vacation.

Life Gets in the Way of Plans (Thankfully)

These past couple weeks have been so busy and hectic that I almost feel brain raped by them; however, it is about that time of year since finals are coming up soon for me. From doing all my group projects and papers along side of my normal homework has given me very little time to myself or any thoughts of fun. So, how did I survive those nights filled with homework and small naps? Friends and amazing study breaks, and not to mention finding the best study spot ever. Seriously, I found one of the most recluse places that no one ever uses on campus. Last week, being the start of my hell weeks, was Dance Ensemble. Where I only had time to perform, do homework, and see my family for the shortest amount of time.

My family had come to see me perform in my dance, but they were also helping me with moving some stuff from my apartment. When we were done, and walking out to go out to lunch, I saw two of some very great friends sitting outside next to their's with brooms and scraping off mud from their shoes. Seeing this I automatically called out to them, and asked them if they had played Quidditch, after talking for a short time, I came back to a very amused family. My brother in law asked, "Taylor, what is Quidditch?" And with that, my sisters burst out laughing. Needless to say that my family was in a great mood to make fun of me, and how I go to a nerdy school. Knowing that they didn't mean any harm, I went along with telling them about all the amazingly awesome things we did such as Quidditch, Humans vs. Zombies, Assassins (spoons were the weapons), and some others. I'm only a little proud of my school... more like crazy proud of where I go, and my family wouldn't have it any other way.

The dance I was in was called Jazzy Groovy, and it resembled the early jazz. It was hard to learn, but so amazing. I am so glad that I stayed in this dance because in the end we were all laughing about how we couldn't do barely any of the moves.

As a rule, Sunday is usually homework day, but since school and dance was taking a tole on me I was consistently doing homework when I had the chance. Although, I knew that I would need a study break at some point, so guess what I did? I experienced the Festival of Color's with great enthusiasm.

I was only there an hour, but it was a very productive one. I went all out. It was a war on everyone, and the agenda was to have fun and making them colorful. It was legit. Squirt guns and bottles were there for us to attack one another. There was no way that my white t-shirt was going to stay that way.

Let's just say that I would do that again joyfully.
Even though that weekend was super stressful and overcome with studying, I wouldn't change it for a bit because it made the silly happy moments so much better.

Over this past week, I had been staying up late trying to finish my homework, but I think it was Thursday night that was best and worst of my life. I had to write a 5-6 page paper in one night. No joke. I started it at 7pm and finished it without revisions at 3am. I feel terrible for that professor because it is probably the worst paper I have ever written, but at least I finished. I wasn't even given time the next day to fix anything because it was due at 8am on Friday, so that was the terrible part of it.

The best part were the study breaks and having the moral support of my friends. Around 1:30am, my friend KJ and I had a two song dance party. What did we do? We danced the Zumba dances that we knew by heart. We went all out thinking that no one was watching or would watch us, until KJ received a call from her boyfriend asking for one of us to let him in and that he had been trying to get our attention through the window.

When my paper was turned in yesterday, I had decided that I would do no homework for the rest of the day, and only do what makes me happy. Thinking that I would have a quiet night in and go to bed early, I found myself going to a swing dance with a bunch of friends, and to a friend's house for games.   I had forgotten how much I love swing dancing. It was so much fun to get that interaction again.

Yesterday, I thought it would be a great idea to help out with a Triathlon. So when I sat in cold rain/hail for two hours today, I wanted to kick myself for not wearing more clothing and/or not doing this, I reminded myself that I wouldn't be doing anything else with my time, and even though I was cold to the bone that it was a great experience to hang out and talk to my partner at our checkpoint. I wouldn't have changed anything other than bringing a blanket. It made my hot shower all the more appreciated that is for sure.

Washington D.C. and Our Final Volunteer Project (We have finally arrived!)

The continuous journey to Washington D.C on the Students Today, Leaders Forever Pay It Forward tour finally arrived to the city. It wasn't until we arrived that we were able to know what our volunteer project was going to be the next morning. They told us that it would be messy, dirty, and very gross; but those descriptions did not give the poor Anacostia River justice. The amount of sewage and garbage that was found was repulsive. To see how much littering that had happened was almost unreal. The mayor and some of the others came and spoke to us about how flooding had brought a lot of unsavory things into the river; however, I don't think most of the things we found were from severe flooding. Around 250 people spent four hours cleaning one part of that river, and it still wasn't enough. I was forced to leave hundreds of glass liquor bottle behind because I ran out of time.

This was only a very small amount of garbage that we found. I even found a Woodland Conservation Area sign that I am holding up. Ironic, right? Many of the things we found were evidence that a flood had not put it there but someone who threw it because they didn't know what else to do with it.
In the Natural Resources Defense Council (http://www.nrdc.org/water/pollution/fanacost.asp), it even states that the Anacostia River is nicknamed "the Forgotten River" and that it is a national embarrassment. To make it even better, this river flows in the shadow of the Capitol building. Did I mention that it was the most polluted river in the country? Talk about national pride. Yes, there have been steps to start cleaning it up; however, the naturalist in me is outraged that more isn't being done. Apparently STLF ( http://stlf.net/get-connected/blog/7-years-and-3000-students-later ) has been returning to help clean this river since 2005. Over 3,000 college students have volunteered their time over the years, yet it always seems to be in the same state when they return. Seems like a problem, right?

Food for the trip? (STLF continued)

The next day we went to Kokomo, Indiana and helped out around the town by helping out at one of the many food shelves. I was heartbreaking hearing the small amount of stories we did. One story was about a child wanting toilet paper as a prize for being such a good kind instead of a brand new toy. To find out that people were going without toilet paper was really hard to hear because toilet paper can not be charged on an EBT card since it isn't food. But the best thing about this town was the people. They were so nice and caring. And the reason why so many people are struggling in the town? The town was economically hit really hard by the auto industry going down these past years. This town had not just one auto company, but two. So, we did as much as we could during the four hours we had to help them.

This is a photo of some of us girls separating food for people to take later.

But we had to move on.

We stopped quickly in Cleveland, Ohio and visited Lake Erie.

However, we needed to get to Fombell, Pensilvania to stay for the night!

Where are we going today? (continued STLF trip)

"What's on the agenda for today?" One of the most asked questions of the trip. Most of the answers I received was "You'll see." with a knowing smile. The unknowing was killing me inside.
We made it to Elgin, IL.

Right away, we were able to take showers at a Fitness Center(?), and were given time to explore outside on the beautiful day.

It was here and at a park right next to it that we (the STLF group) found many treasures.

And proceeded to make as many memories as we could in our limited time.

And even more by the river.

We even took a couple awkward family photos.

Somehow, they never really turned out. But aren't family pictures always like these anyway?

Afterwards, we visited a nursing home and talked to some pretty amazing people. Not many people can handle being around elderly people anymore. I believe that is a real shame because they are the ones with the wisdom and have loads of stories to tell. If I am ever in need of a good story, I would go to a nursing home. Not only that, but elderly people can get awful lonesome sometimes because their relatives never visit them. And that is a real shame because the relatives are missing out.

On the bus ride, I was being taught the basics of playing the Ukulele. I still only remember how to play the C, even though I was more.

When we arrived at Chicago, we were given time to roam and explore the city a little bit, so we took a Ferris Wheel ride and went to the Bean.

This was one of the beautiful views from the Ferris Wheel.

It was both scary and fun to be so high in the air! But we had to move on to other things which included the Bean! But on our way there we found a cool statue.

We walked for a a long while in the terrible heat to get to the Bean, but we made it.

It wasn't long before we were taking millions of pictures because of how cool the Bean was!!

We took so much time there, and getting food that we basically had to run the huge number of blocks to try to get to the bus on time. We were five minutes late, but we would have been probably 10 to 15 minutes late if we didn't power walk and run the crosswalks with only 3 or 4 seconds before the lights changed.

We were all exhausted by the time we were able to get on the bus.

A Week of "Where Are We?"

This past week during spring break, I went on another road trip. This time it was on a bus with 37 others and to Washington D.C. The nonprofit organization I went with was called Students Today Leaders Forever (a.k.a STLF), and on this trip we did multiple volunteer projects.

The first place we went was to Sparta, Wisconsin. Yes, I have been to Sparta. :D Anyway, our project was to help the Boy's and Girls Club with either painting one room or help clean out the basement of a haunted house. I ended up with cleaning the basement of the haunted house, even though I thought I wanted to still paint.

 While cleaning the haunted house, the group I was with were able to get a tour of it without scary people and during broad daylight.

 It was still terrifying.

At basically the end of the tour, the guide points up to the ledge right above the exit door, and describes to us the very last scare they use on people. They have a person waiting, in costume, on the ledge to fall above their heads. I knew right away if someone had ever done that to me, I would have peed my pants. Truly, because I hate being scared. However, I absolutely LOVE scaring others.

We continue working until the man in charge comes in to thank us. He talks for while, then he says something that make us all perk up. He says, "This is a terrible idea, but we're going to do it. The painting group will be coming to take tours of the haunted house soon, and we want to give them a real good time, right?"
He continues on to say that we should continue working until  he comes to get us, and to put us in certain spots. So, my partner and I continued working, and not long after the main guy comes to us. He looks my partner and then me for a minute and points to me saying "You'll be perfect." Then comes the question, "are you afraid of heights?" With that one question, I knew that I was selected to jump off the ledge above people's heads. This was one opportunity I could not pass up. My response was simply, "I don't mind them." With that, my partner cheered me on, and I went to get geared up.

I was put in full rock climbing gear, and was introduced to the girl who was going to be up there with me for safety. She had been doing what I was going to do for four years, and taught me everything I needed to know. Since we were up there waiting for people, we talked about her volunteering at the haunted house and her life. It was very interesting to learn all about it. I wish I could have talked to her more though.

When I could hear the footsteps in the room next to us, I knew that it was time. I had so much adrenaline in me that I was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

I jumped probably a total of 15 times or so from practicing, the tours, and people who were going to be scaring coming to watch me jump. Luckily I had a friend with a camera. :D



 I was fierce. As one can see, the door is right underneath me, and the room is supposed to be in full darkness.

Afterward, we were able to sightsee which consisted of this.

But we didn't have anymore time after that! It was back on the bus to the next place!

Light Bulb!

I should be studying right now since I have a quiz at 8 in the morning tomorrow and two exams later this week, but for some reason I just can't seem to study. I seem to have been in this mood to want to have an extraordinary adventure, or something super fun and silly because I have been under a lot of stress and will be for the next couple weeks. Why? Midterms are coming up, I applied to be a Community Advisor at my school, and PHE (Peer Health Educators) are putting a huge program on next week called Love Your Body Week. I am excited for all these things to happen, just not all at once. And to make things catastrophic, I ate all my chocolate kisses from Valentine's Day, so now my stash is out. Yes, I am going through withdrawals of chocolate. The secret is out.

This last weekend I went back up to northern Minnesota to work a very special event... called Eelpout Festival. I was one of the lucky ladies to sell shots to inebriated men who would make passes at me left and right. Sometimes, I wish sober men would do that. If I had a dollar for every time someone wanted to take a picture with me or of me I would have made a hundred dollars just from that. Some of the men that I met called me quirky, Russian (not to my face), and beautiful.

I must admit that a drunk man was trying to convince my sister and my brother-in-law that I was Russian and that I even had the accent. All the while they kept telling him that I wasn't even close to Russian, and they knew this because they were my sister and brother. He didn't believe them. To clarify, I am American, but my ancestry has never had any Russian in it. I think this was by far the most ridiculous and funniest things I heard all night.

The man who called me quirky, told me this within two minutes of talking to me, and when I gave him a questioning look he admitted that it was a good thing. Later that night, I asked him why he thought I was odd, and all I got in reply was "there is just something about you". Needless to say, we had a very good chat after that.

Anyway, going back to the adventure subject, I feel like I am not appreciating life to the amount I usually do, so how am I going to get back to how I was? All I could think of was, do something small but not an everyday thing that I would usually do. Somehow this lead me to think about how all of my adventures are always written about after the fact on here, and that, that made me very sad. I mean there should be adventures happening on this blog, not just a droning and rambling on of a silly young woman. Then a thought occurred, *LIGHT BULB* --- DING DING DING! We have a winner! I would videotape or record some of the things I do. It's brilliant! But then I had a sad thought rain on my parade. What was I going to videotape? What is something that a college kid could do that would not break a law, be offensive, and still be amusing? Yep, I have nothing. Maybe I will figure something out. *COUGH* Ideas? *COUGH* Anyone?  

Plans, Plans, and More Plans!

For the past couple years I have been planning on visiting my family in Hawaii, but never wanted to willingly pay that much money. However, the number one excuse of not going was time. I didn't have time in between working and college. I work, work work in the summer, and study, study, study in the winter. So, when do I make time for for and visiting family? Never... except now. 

The other day I bought my plane ticket. Yes, to Hawaii. To the beautiful island of Oahu. To see my family of course. 

So it's finalized! I am actually going to do something that I want other than school! I will be going for 2 weeks right after my spring semester is done in May. I am so excited!

Also during this week, my friend Kourtni asked through Facebook if anyone wanted to do the Color Run which is a 5K marathon. I, the hater of running, jumped on board, and said I would. Only because it looks like it would be the best run Ever. 

This looks like too much fun to pass up. And I have always wanted to run a 5K. I think I have been scared to do it. This will be happening on July 15th, and it will be amazing.

And at this second, more plans are being made. I know, I am amazing... at making plans.

Classifications and Body Loving

For some odd reason I have been thinking about identity and what makes someone who they are. But what does identity even entail? How one acts? Dress? Wants? Because if you could be classified, what would you be? Would you be a hipster, a hippie, a prep, an emo, a scene, a country kid, a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, or even a lover? I hear others classifying themselves or telling of being classified as such, and I can not help but wonder if I had to classified what would I be?

A week ago, a friend of mine said out of no where, "Taylor, you are not a hipster." and all I could think was 'why did he say that? And why would I not be a hipster? what does he see me as?' and when I asked him why he said that the only reaction I received was "I don't know. I just thought about it and knew you were not a hipster." I never thought of myself of as a hipster, and apparently if I did, I would have been wrong. The next day, a group of friends of mine and I were talking and one said that someone told her "...wouldn't think she would do something like that" because the person had always thought of my friend as a hippy and not a girlie girl.

This made me think even more about classifying people, and wondering how I was classified, but I was mostly intrigued by the reason why people are classified. It took me a couple minutes, but I remembered that people like everything to be classified and have the information put into a file cabinet of sorts in their heads. With the remembrance of the human's obsession to classify all things, I started to wonder again about my classification, and decided not to ask anyone because that would be too easy. My conclusion was that I am me. Just me. Unconventional and scatterbrained me. And nothing nor anyone could take that away from me.

Tonight, I went to a Peer Health Educators meeting (PHE is an on-campus organization at my college), and two of the discussions up for the board was 'What to do for Valentine's Day?' and 'Who wants to help plan Love Your Body week'. Naturally, I drifted towards the Love Your Body week subject since I am single and hate being judged for that. Do not pity me, I know that I can be happy either in or out of a relationship. It just so happens that I am usually out of one. But that wasn't the only reason why I was excited to talk about the week, I also love the message it brings to men and women alike. It started out for awareness of eating disorders; however, it is so much more than that. It is confidence and overweight issues. It is realizing that the media is stupid to make girls believe that being a size two is beautiful, or that having a six pack and being fully toned muscularly is something that every guy should be. I admit that I do not like certain parts of my body, but I wouldn't trade my body or starve it to get a new one. It is the most amazing possession that I will ever have, but I sometimes forget. So here is to remembering and trying to treat the body as the temple it is.

This is a song to remember that everyone is strong. I have been obsessed with it the past couple days, but no big deal.

Adventure is Out There!

This past weekend I was in the Twin Cities with one of my best and oldest friends, Katie, for her birthday, and had an amazing time. When I got to her apartment, I was planning on going out with her and some of our friends to a party given for Katie (someone else was hosting her birthday party for her), but apparently I was too excited because I ended up staying at her apartment fighting off a migraine. I woke up with a hint of another migraine coming on, so I quickly downed two Advil all the while laughing at how I was beating it, since the one before kicked my butt. I had previously talked to one of my favorite uncles who happens to live the cities, and we planned a day of brunch, cultural exploring (Walker Art Center), and some needed shopping at the Mall of America. What can I say; I am a girl at heart.

When I came back to Katie's, I was amazed to see one of my old friends (from school speech competition) there with her. I hadn't seen Dan since before the end of senior year of high school. Hanging out felt as though I had seen him the other day.

That night we went to Lorings pasta bar in Dinky Town. It was a great time, and the atmosphere was amazing but the portions of the food left most of us all wanting more. So, after going back to Katie's place for cake, what did we all do? We went to McDonald's naturally. Twice.

On Sunday, and my last day in Minneapolis for the weekend was a grumbling, happy one where I went to brunch with my uncle again (to an authentic Polish cuisine that was on that Diners Drive-ins and Dives show on the food network), said goodbye to Dan and Katie for the time being, and went back to my college with cows in the backyard.

Because of my mini adventure in the Twin Cities, I have been thinking about life and adventures lately. I guess I should say that I do this often because I stumble through them all the time... get it? Just like the name of my blog. Haha, that was supposed to be a joke... oh well. Anyway, I was thinking about how everything is an Adventure, I just need to see it that way to experience it with glee. Ron Wild once said, "Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child." and I believe it is one of smartest things that someone has ever been recorded saying. Because let's face it, there are a lot of super smart people who've said some amazingly smart things and were never quoted. However, that is beside the point. The point is that everyone living life should not let it go wasted.

While I was thinking about this I was trying to find a quote to convey what I am feeling, and I could not find one, but what I did find was someone else's list of 100 crazy things to do before you die.

http://www.upgradereality.com/100-crazy-things-to-do-before-you-die

Now, I may not do all of these things or a even half of them, but I think this list gets the basics down and then some. I know that my bucket list has: hold a snake, watch all the star trek episodes (yes, I do realize how many there are), have my own garden, travel to all 7 continents, fly an airplane, go to graduate school, and finish writing a book. These are just a few things I want to do. Creating a bucket list has made me do a lot of the things that I wanted to do like cutting my hair in a boy short pixie cut, getting a tattoo, and going on a road trip in another country. Crossing off what I have done gives me a sense of accomplishment and makes me realize that I am doing the things I want in life, but my bucket list will always be never ending. If I see or hear about doing something and I want to do it, then I quickly put it on the list.

I remember almost all the times where I or someone close to me has said "I don't have time to do that. I don't have the money for that." I now know that they and I were wrong. If I make time, and put away a small amount of money every week then somehow I will get where I want to be.

I also found a really cool website talking about how to follow your dreams.

http://www.globotreks.com/features/19-reasons-ignore-everybody-follow-your-dreams/

But, what does a silly college girl like me know anyhow?

What Happens When My Brain Refuses to Do Homework

I have been in school for a week and a half and already my mind refuses to study as much as I want to. I sometimes feel weird because of my arguments inside my head. All I think is, 'Taylor, it's time to start on homework! Get to it! So you can be done for tonight!'

 I get a ridiculous response, 'Shut up about homework! Yada yada yada, that is all you want to do! You never want to have fun anymore. I refuse to do homework right now.'

I am resigned, thinking 'well, this is a dilemma. I need to get it done sometime tonight.'

My brain gets that stupid teenage retort that all older people hate with a 'Whatever. I don't care. Homework is a stupid waste of time.'

It is at this time that I realize I am giving myself a lecture on how homework is not stupid and that I will thank myself later in life if I do this. I was mothering myself. But since I could not concentrate on the readings, I was trying to do, my brain won out with glee. So instead of doing homework at this moment, I am writing.

My brain seems to getting happier as I go, but the whole fact that I just had an argument with myself kind of worries me. It's like a conversation, right? So, there isn't anything to worry about... I think.

These past weeks have been great coming back to school, since apparently my roommate and I haven't received another one or two of them. Knock on wood. She helped me move into our old roommate's room, and we are getting along better than ever now. Here, here to separate rooms! Especially because I have 8 am classes and all her days start at noon. Saves us a lot of resentment on both sides.

 I also applied to be a community advisor for my college. I really hope I get it! Almost everyone has said that I will be one, but I don't have that acceptance letter in my hands yet so I still need to work for it.

This past weekend I went to see the movie Underworld Awakening and it was basically amazing. But only because I am into science-fiction action thrillers. I also have a fad for supernatural creatures, which did not become so because of Twilight, I liked that kind of stuff way before those books and movies came out. Example is that I love dinosaurs! I am a nut for them. Want to know how much? One of my favorite movies since I was basically nine years old was Jurassic Park. I know almost all the lines. I mean they aren't supernatural, but that shows how much of a geek I am. Which I am a HUGE geek, but I think all the cool people are... isn't that what a geek would say anyway?

One of the reasons why I want to be so on top of my homework this week is because I will be visiting the lovely Katie in the cities, and hopefully seeing one of my many favorite uncles. I will be leaving my little cave behind because of the special occasion of Katie's birthday, and I really don't want to have to worry about getting homework done at some point when I come back.  So, there is the dilemma I was talking about. But I noticed that I would need my brain to finish my homework. It seems my brain has run off to a tropical place with a beach and palm trees, so that won't happen for a while. Oh boy!

What's New With You, Room?

As my winter break starts to end, I think about everything I have done for the past month. The holidays, the  number of coffee dates with old friends, with new friends, the annoying amount of times calling for my misbehaved pugs to come inside, running up and down stairs only to do it again because I have forgotten something, and the projects I've worked on.

What kind of projects? Oh, just little ones like taking over my sister's old room and painting it, as well as painting my dresser and truck. Not to mention moving everything into the room and arranging it perfectly to my desire. Seems like I have time enough to do it because after all, I do have a month to finish it. Or at least that is what I thought. I guess I didn't take into account that one of the weeks is during holidays, and that I would be super busy. After all the holidays and wanting some time to relax, I have found that doing my project was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be, but guess what? I did it anyway.

Redoing my room was bound to happen anyway, so I decided that now was the best time to do it. I didn't want to keep living in a pre-teen room which I admit that it kind of was. I had outgrown my room and it was time for a change; however, I forgot one tiny fact. I am a poor college student. Where would I get the money to completely change my room? It wasn't going to be my parents that was for sure. Earlier in the year, I started thinking about ideas for it, and I was able to find some stuff that I would want in my bedroom. So, how did I get those things even though I am broke? I requested them for my birthday and then for Christmas. See? Problem solved!

I did end up paying $60 for the paint, but it was well worth it!

I had found a comforter that I loved and instantly knew that it would work in the space! The trunk below was a nasty yellow-green color, and now is a pretty grey (I painted it). To show off the room well, I decided that it was best to go simple here because it is such a pretty color and my bedroom is tiny.

To keep the room flowing, I also painted my dresser (which needed to be sanded down before hand. It took a couple of days to finish this.)

I still need to find handles that I like for it though. Sadly I threw the old ones away a long time ago. Word from the wise, don't do that.

After finishing this project, I realized that maybe I have a skill at this. Then I thought maybe I should have a show on HGTV. But it wasn't even a minute later that I decided against it. Obviously I had a great time getting all of this done and a sense of accomplishment afterwards, but I wouldn't want to do this again anytime soon.

So, I guess that is basically all I did this winter break. Not very exciting for most, but definitely amazingly exciting for me. I mean it's not everyday that a girl gets a new room. 

Wild Dense World

During the past semester I was in a nature writing class. We could write about anything in the natural world and actually had to keep a journal on what I found interesting about nature. It was so nice to be in a somewhat creatively free environment, and be able to write basically anything. One of the things that I wrote and am super proud of is the poem 'Wild Dense World" and wanted to share it. So here it is!

My roots burrow deep

            Within the ground grasping

            Moist soil. Lakes and forests

            Calm my soul. I was sired

            In a wild dense world.

            Lofty coniferous trees, fair water

            Lilies, ebony loons call to me.

I want to dive impetuously

            Into vegetated clear waters.

            Swimming deep, integrating weeds

            With sunfish, beavers, bass.

            Trees entering lakes,

            Creeping into rivers,

            Uniting bodies of water with woods.

 O Pond, ponderous

            Filled with multitudes of mysteries.

            Why will there be change

            From clean to toxic water?

            And mutations in amphibians?

            When will your home

            Disappear?

Shadowed Skies and Woodland

            Animals are in my blood.

            I belong to whistling 

            Of birds, croaking of frogs,

            Snapping of tree branches,

            And the seemed stillness

            Of woods.

I am no city dweller to be locked in

            Steal, glass, concrete,

            Forgetting nature exists,

            Using artificial light,

            Living through Facebook,

            Loosing myself

            In technology.

I want to scamper through woods

            Barefoot, carefree, eternal,

            Exploring

            Unknown yet known

            Visiting old nooks, old friends.

            Splashing through streams,

            Encountering new animals.

O Beasts, beautiful

            Surrounded by glorious confidence.

            How will one survive

            Loosing the woodlands?

            Living with no nourishment?

            Competing with concrete?

            When will your home

            Disappear?

Walls and Claustrophobic Places

            Corrupt imagination.

            I cannot articulate thoughts

            With constricting barriers, overbearing

Structures, sky-high buildings.

            Inspiration eludes concepts,

            Trapping my mind inside.

O Woodland, wondrous

            Surging in my blood.

            When will the economy stop

            Cutting giant trees?

            Destroying marshlands?

            When will my home

            Disappear?

 It's kind of dark in a way, but then most poetry is, isn't it?

I Feel Fabulous; Therefore, I Am Fabulous

Since this is the New Year, I guess I should have a new years resolution. Lose weight? Find a love life? Maybe I should find a way to pay off my college loans… or maybe I should find a cooler resolution that makes me sparkle. Hmm, I believe I like the last choice the best.

For some reason I just get so annoyed by people talking about going on diets or even going to the gym for their resolution. I mean lets face it, doesn’t it scream, “I hate my body”? People think that by changing their outer selves, somehow they will be better, be happier, etc., etc. When really this is not the case. There are skinny ass girls and guys who are miserable out there in the world. Let me tell you, I used to be a skinny ass miserable person… no, I did not have an eating disorder or have one now. I was simply skinny from genetics. I know, I have been told I am a bitch multiple times because of this. *Sigh* Oh well, I’m okay with that.

Anyways, one of the best ways to be happier is to accept yourself. Accept your overemotional, hesitant, terrified self. All of it; become one with your emotions and deal with it as you go. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. I admit to it, I am an overemotional, sensitive, terrified person. I do not like unpleasant emotions nor do I like vocalizing them, most of the time. I am always so scared of hurting someone’s feelings by telling my opinion and how I feel about the situation. So what exactly is my resolution? It’s to confront my feelings, and address them as they appear.

I have decided that this resolution is one that everyone should do because when I have accepted my emotions and figured them out. I am much happier with myself because I am being true to who I am. And guess where this leads? You guessed it … or maybe not. This will change your outer self. How? Well silly, when your inner self is happy, you tend to smile and laugh more. Smiling brings a healthy glow to your cheeks and makes you look younger, and laughing works your abs. Also when you’re happier (at least for me) you don’t eat as much. You won’t eat for comfort or from being bored.  You also tend to choose more active activities, which is a form of exercise! Who knew?!?

I also have found that happy people attract other happy people, making a group of overly happy people! Who wouldn’t want that?!?! … I’ve come to understand the miserable people wouldn’t. Sorry miserable people, I truly don’t mean to offend you.

Then, get this, when you’re surrounded by happy people, a.k.a. men and women, you’ll get to know them and maybe just maybe become attracted to one of them and that same one will be attracted to you. (By the way, this last part has not been tested.) And you’ll decide to be in a relationship and it will like a fairytale. Literally. Because the man will wear shining armor and the woman will wear a dress and they will kiss in the end and be happy. True story… I think.  Maybe I got some parts wrong, oh well.

Then to make everything come together beautifully, one must dress the part. If you’re kind of feeling malicious towards your body, remember that is a feeling too, so confront it and say “Damn girl (or guy), you need to work on your attitude, but once I fix you up, you will be worth a million bucks!” Then do something fun, like running around the house screaming profanity, or a hobby. It’s your choice. And if you are still having terrible feelings about your body, then take a shower, put on your favorite shoes (and clothes), tiny bit of make-up if you’re a woman, and say “I feel fabulous; therefore, I am fabulous,” to yourself in the mirror, better yet say it to a loved one, mother, father, sister, brother, spouse, or even a stranger. My suggestion is to say it to the stranger. It would be an amazing ice breaker! Just don’t say it too confident, otherwise the stranger will think you’re cocky, and that is so not cool. I mean there is confidence and then there is too much confidence.

Out of all the resolutions, the emotional one is the best and coolest. I mean, what other resolution will make you happy; feel younger and maybe lose weight; open the door to a new social life, which leads to a new love life (again maybe); and show your sparkling personality?  That is right, none! No other resolution could be as amazing as this one, and to think, little ole me thought of it! Maybe I am a closet genius! Hmm… I believe that is it.