Okay, so I haven't been writing in a long time, and I have found that even though I haven't really had time to write that I was also making excuses not to. Telling myself that I am too busy to do something I love, but I have found myself not wanting to write. I have been dreading it. Why? I still don't know the answer to that, but I do know one thing. I have lost my mojo in writing. Why haven't I been dying to write down my stories about my STLF trip or my trip to Hawaii? Or the fact that my life seems to change in a blink of an eye, and the only things constant are my family, friends, and where I live? It doesn't make sense to me since I have been writing in journals since I was seven. Before I even liked to read no less. Sometimes I wonder if I feel like I am not creating the adventures or living the way I said I would in this blog, but then I think to myself that life will always be an adventure, and whether I do anything or not about it, it will send me down a path. So what if my life is messed up, and my big adventures sometimes need to be set aside? This my one and only life and I need to live it. In a way I am saying the stupid saying YOLO (you only live once), but I don't mean to go out and get trashed and party it up. I want to do something meaningful to me. Some say that YOLO is our today's version of carpe diem, but does it really matter?
So life has in a sense thrown me a couple curve balls and I ended up striking out. The Color Run that I have been training for since February is now a somewhat diminished goal. I have been having some medical issues lately that I don't know if they stem from my heart problem, or if it is a totally new problem, and my doctor has told me to stop running. I will be able to walk the 5k Color Run, but I am not going to jog it like I planned to. This breaks my heart, but I am no quitter so tomorrow during my next doctor visit I will ask if I can begin training again. It is in less than 15 days now, but I am certain that if I can start training again and be able to run it somewhat that I will be happy in the long run.
To make matters better, I probably shouldn't be having any caffeine, but I am cheating today. My own little rebellion. :D HaHA! Take that! I'll drink a iced latte if I want to.
So between two jobs, I have been going to the doctor and physical therapist, which has been giving me no time to myself, but today and yesterday I've been given a couple days off. And let me tell you, I am not wasting them at all. Yesterday I was able to see my bestie Lissy while going out on the lake. It was gorgeous and hot! Perfect day for the beach. I must admit that life on the lake in Minnesota is the best. Taking boat rides out to Agency Bay and hanging out soothes my soul. Every calms in my head and there is nothing to worry about. I don't have to worry about work or getting anything done. I just sit and relax. Nothing beats my time on the boat. The wind on my face, the sun beating down on my 50 SPF lathered skin, the sound and feel of riding on the water. It's a perfect moment in time.
Life not always go my way and I may sometimes loose my mojo, but when I am on the boat none of it matters. Some people think that living up north in Minnesota is crazy, and maybe I am crazy, but many don't realize what their missing out on. I know I will have to leave it someday, but it will never stop calling to my soul, and that I am grateful for.
No comments:
Post a Comment