I'm clumsy. It's true. I am a dancer, and yet I am very clumsy. Fortunately, not while I am dancing. And for some reason, I am also awkward. I speak awkwardly, I act awkwardly, I even react awkwardly.
Many people think this is cute. Others think that I create these scenarios to be like characters such as Bella in Twilight. This has never been the case. I have always understood that I am who I am, and the only thing that can truly change me is myself ... and the influence of social media.
These characteristics that I have somehow create funny, embarrassing situations to the point that I wonder sometimes if I was named and should have been Bridget Jones, the novels about her were so embarrassing that I had to stop reading them.
Truly, I can't stand embarrassing moments. The reason is probably because my parents were so good at making me think about how I would feel in other's shoes. If I am watching a movie, and I have any hint that the next scene will be embarrassing, I will promptly leave the room and go do something until the embarrassing scene has ended. Did anyone say potty break?
The problem is that with my clumsiness, I am continuously inside an embarrassing scene within a movie which also happens to be my life, so there is no walking away to go to the bathroom or to do something else so I wouldn't have to watch it. A tough life, right?!?
I am not a pitiful person, I do not like pity or belittling because I have a lot of pride. Perhaps it is this pride that keeps getting me into these embarrassing moments, but for right now I have no idea.
I have always wanted to be a superhero or a super strong independent woman who only stays with her man because she decides to, and because he treats her right.
Throughout my young life, I have scoured society for super hero stories about women that are not the sidekicks, but actually are given the time that these women deserve. However, that is never done. All the women are usually sidekicks or the bad guy. Even in Batman, the sidekick is Catwoman, and the bad guy is a woman. I mean, seriously? That doesn't even get into the multi-ethnic heroes either.
I think it is time for a new superhero generation.
I think the reason I am thinking about this is that I recently watched Iron Man 3. (IT WAS SO GOOD!) I mean Pepper isn't in it much, but she is always amazing; however, she is always the trophy, and she even knows it.
Although I kind of went off kilter, I want to speak more about my clumsiness and awkwardness. I understand that I am not the most awkward nor am I the clumsiest out of everyone in the world. And even though I haven't really talked about many adventures lately, my life doesn't always seem exciting to me so I don't write about it. Maybe the adventures I am having are unfinished. Life moves in curious ways.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Tomorrow is My Birthday.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 22.
My great aunt Carolyn is in the last stages of her life, and I am only beginning mine. Throughout my life I have endured many close loved ones dying, and I thought it was normal. Now, I know differently.
Dealing with the blows of losing loved ones created a child that crushingly gripped onto the people that she already loved. An ice wall gradually formed creating a shield from herself and new people. It was crystal clear, so the newcomers and herself would be able to see, speak, and interact. Learning from all of the death, she became sorrowful and became deeply depressed. Hiding her sadness, she when about her life as best she could. Sitting next to her bed was a picture of her grandmother and her young two-year-old self, every night she willed to remember any kind of memory from her brain. None would come. Only the memory of the story being told to her by her mother, "Grandma Judy loved you very much. When this photo was taken, she told me about how you not being able to remember her hurt the most."
After being sullen for a year or two, the girl had a dawning thought while talking to her mother about all of the people that they had lost in their lives. "Why do we love, mom,? If everyone in our lives that we hold dear to us are taken away or leave? Why put ourselves in that pain?"
Her mother looked very sad at her, and didn't answer.
"I know why. I know that our lives are not worth living without those people. The reason why it is so hard to lose those people is because of the love and the memories. To live a life without any sort of love is a life not worth living; in fact, it is not living at all, only existing. Those memories are what enrich our lives, and without them we would have nothing. Some would say that life is about the pursuit of knowledge, but without someone to share that knowledge with then all is for naught. The knowledge that was gained is gone after death if there is no one to share with. Many people focus on the negative aspects of life or tasks such as: working, making money, buying stuff that no one needs, and cleaning the house. Those are not the moments that make life worth it. Love and making connections with people are the only reasons, and that is why we do it."
The girl sat calmly across from her mother after answering her own question.
With more sad memories on the horizon, I can always look back and cherish the many, many happy ones that I have already made. Sometimes obstacles meet us early in life, and sometimes they come later, but either way I am happy for all of the people that I have known in my life that are no longer living.
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 22.
Even though my birthday, recent news, and activities have made me realize how fragile life can be, I am happy with the life I was given. I know I am vulnerable to the world for thinking this way, but how else would life be worth living?
My great aunt Carolyn is in the last stages of her life, and I am only beginning mine. Throughout my life I have endured many close loved ones dying, and I thought it was normal. Now, I know differently.
Dealing with the blows of losing loved ones created a child that crushingly gripped onto the people that she already loved. An ice wall gradually formed creating a shield from herself and new people. It was crystal clear, so the newcomers and herself would be able to see, speak, and interact. Learning from all of the death, she became sorrowful and became deeply depressed. Hiding her sadness, she when about her life as best she could. Sitting next to her bed was a picture of her grandmother and her young two-year-old self, every night she willed to remember any kind of memory from her brain. None would come. Only the memory of the story being told to her by her mother, "Grandma Judy loved you very much. When this photo was taken, she told me about how you not being able to remember her hurt the most."
After being sullen for a year or two, the girl had a dawning thought while talking to her mother about all of the people that they had lost in their lives. "Why do we love, mom,? If everyone in our lives that we hold dear to us are taken away or leave? Why put ourselves in that pain?"
Her mother looked very sad at her, and didn't answer.
"I know why. I know that our lives are not worth living without those people. The reason why it is so hard to lose those people is because of the love and the memories. To live a life without any sort of love is a life not worth living; in fact, it is not living at all, only existing. Those memories are what enrich our lives, and without them we would have nothing. Some would say that life is about the pursuit of knowledge, but without someone to share that knowledge with then all is for naught. The knowledge that was gained is gone after death if there is no one to share with. Many people focus on the negative aspects of life or tasks such as: working, making money, buying stuff that no one needs, and cleaning the house. Those are not the moments that make life worth it. Love and making connections with people are the only reasons, and that is why we do it."
The girl sat calmly across from her mother after answering her own question.
With more sad memories on the horizon, I can always look back and cherish the many, many happy ones that I have already made. Sometimes obstacles meet us early in life, and sometimes they come later, but either way I am happy for all of the people that I have known in my life that are no longer living.
My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 22.
Even though my birthday, recent news, and activities have made me realize how fragile life can be, I am happy with the life I was given. I know I am vulnerable to the world for thinking this way, but how else would life be worth living?
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Why Do We Have To CLOSE The Government Down? ( A Rant)
As I go to my college classes sick and tired because I have no time to get healthy, I hear about the government shutting down because the republicans keep trying to repeal Obama Care.
Seriously though, my classmates tried sitting the farthest from me because I was coughing so bad.
Not only that, but due to the shut down, I no longer have access to vital information via the government websites for a subject in one of my classes. Way to ruin my education. I do not approve congress.
For example:
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=2324
Not cool.
I usually hate stating political statements or anything even close to something political, but Congress really needs to get their priorities straight, and not close down. Seriously, I thought 4th-8th graders went to middle school and not supposedly responsible people that we elect to represent us the people. There is so much childish behavior going on that I feel like I am back in my mom's daycare, and not in a good way.
I just find it a little - or maybe a lot - ironic that I have to continue going to school and doing my homework while I am sick, and they decide to shut down the government because they cannot agree with something that is already passed. Well, life sucks and we don't always get our way. Deal with it.
I deal with the fact that I have a job where I can't call into sick.
There are bigger fish to fry. Let the poor people have health insurance because then the rest of the population will be healthier in the long run.
Servers - people that work in the food industry - hardly never take a day off even when they are sick because they can't afford to. So guess is handling your food? Sick people. But they wouldn't, would they? Most of the time, servers can't find anyone to substitute, and when they can find someone, they still can't take it off because they need the money to pay rent, feed the children, pay off student loans, and much more.
Most servers do not get benefits that include vacation time, or sick days. Well, they chose that profession, right?
Not always. Sometimes that is the only job that is available to make ends meet. I know a couple people who have to work two server jobs to stay fed, clothed, and to keep a roof over their head.
To make matters worse some of those servers don't have health care. So most of the time, they stay sick. They can't give themselves time to heal, or the money to heal quickly.
Excusing my tangent, I must clarify that the world does not stop when the government shuts down. Especially during the middle of flu season.
FLU SEASON!
Well, whatever. Who cares if poor people die? It's not like they have lives and loved ones, right?
(That was a rhetorical question that I do not really believe.)
Okay, so I have a video that has this guy stating true facts about our health care, and even though there is a little more ranting, it isn't about the government shutting down like pansy ass sissies.
Here's the video with John Green (who is amazing):
http://www.upworthy.com/his-first-4-sentences-are-interesting-the-5th-blew-my-mind-and-made-me-a-little-sick-2?c=la3
Here's another article with a video that clearly shows what is happening, and why:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/01/1242940/-Rachel-Maddow-Republican-Shutdown-Evil-And-Planned-VIDEO?detail=facebook
Here's a news article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/federal-government-appears-headed-shutdown-divided-lawmakers-reach-last-minute-deal-article-1.1471738
Most people have to remain at their jobs, while being unpaid? WTF?? How will this pay the bills and feed the family??
"Critical workers, from the Border Patrol to air-traffic controllers, would remain on the job,
unpaid."
And you may think, she doesn't know anything, that might be true.
However, Congress people are still getting paid! Wait... what? Maybe they should go without a pay check, benefits, AND health care while the government is closed.
But I've been to Student Congress, I've done that, I know what they are doing. It's really hard to pass a bill, so leave it alone, and move on. Because more people will be able to have health insurance, health insurance means healthier people, healthier people means happier people, happier people means a happier place to live.
And I also have been taught not to quit something like a game, but when the game is done, I don't try to have a rematch because I didn't like the outcome.
Who wants to live in a hostile grumpy world where there is no fun to be had because everyone is sick or dead?
Not me!
On a happier note, today is the 123rd Anniversary of Yosemite National Park! (which has no paid workers there right now because the government shut down)
All because people do not know how to compromise or even know when to shut up about a passed subject. Get it? Passed. Obama Care was passed. Conversation should be over.
Seriously though, my classmates tried sitting the farthest from me because I was coughing so bad.
Not only that, but due to the shut down, I no longer have access to vital information via the government websites for a subject in one of my classes. Way to ruin my education. I do not approve congress.
For example:
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=2324
Not cool.
I usually hate stating political statements or anything even close to something political, but Congress really needs to get their priorities straight, and not close down. Seriously, I thought 4th-8th graders went to middle school and not supposedly responsible people that we elect to represent us the people. There is so much childish behavior going on that I feel like I am back in my mom's daycare, and not in a good way.
I just find it a little - or maybe a lot - ironic that I have to continue going to school and doing my homework while I am sick, and they decide to shut down the government because they cannot agree with something that is already passed. Well, life sucks and we don't always get our way. Deal with it.
I deal with the fact that I have a job where I can't call into sick.
There are bigger fish to fry. Let the poor people have health insurance because then the rest of the population will be healthier in the long run.
Servers - people that work in the food industry - hardly never take a day off even when they are sick because they can't afford to. So guess is handling your food? Sick people. But they wouldn't, would they? Most of the time, servers can't find anyone to substitute, and when they can find someone, they still can't take it off because they need the money to pay rent, feed the children, pay off student loans, and much more.
Most servers do not get benefits that include vacation time, or sick days. Well, they chose that profession, right?
Not always. Sometimes that is the only job that is available to make ends meet. I know a couple people who have to work two server jobs to stay fed, clothed, and to keep a roof over their head.
To make matters worse some of those servers don't have health care. So most of the time, they stay sick. They can't give themselves time to heal, or the money to heal quickly.
Excusing my tangent, I must clarify that the world does not stop when the government shuts down. Especially during the middle of flu season.
FLU SEASON!
Well, whatever. Who cares if poor people die? It's not like they have lives and loved ones, right?
(That was a rhetorical question that I do not really believe.)
Okay, so I have a video that has this guy stating true facts about our health care, and even though there is a little more ranting, it isn't about the government shutting down like pansy ass sissies.
Here's the video with John Green (who is amazing):
http://www.upworthy.com/his-first-4-sentences-are-interesting-the-5th-blew-my-mind-and-made-me-a-little-sick-2?c=la3
Here's another article with a video that clearly shows what is happening, and why:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/01/1242940/-Rachel-Maddow-Republican-Shutdown-Evil-And-Planned-VIDEO?detail=facebook
Here's a news article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/federal-government-appears-headed-shutdown-divided-lawmakers-reach-last-minute-deal-article-1.1471738
Most people have to remain at their jobs, while being unpaid? WTF?? How will this pay the bills and feed the family??
"Critical workers, from the Border Patrol to air-traffic controllers, would remain on the job,
unpaid."
And you may think, she doesn't know anything, that might be true.
However, Congress people are still getting paid! Wait... what? Maybe they should go without a pay check, benefits, AND health care while the government is closed.
But I've been to Student Congress, I've done that, I know what they are doing. It's really hard to pass a bill, so leave it alone, and move on. Because more people will be able to have health insurance, health insurance means healthier people, healthier people means happier people, happier people means a happier place to live.
And I also have been taught not to quit something like a game, but when the game is done, I don't try to have a rematch because I didn't like the outcome.
Who wants to live in a hostile grumpy world where there is no fun to be had because everyone is sick or dead?
Not me!
On a happier note, today is the 123rd Anniversary of Yosemite National Park! (which has no paid workers there right now because the government shut down)
All because people do not know how to compromise or even know when to shut up about a passed subject. Get it? Passed. Obama Care was passed. Conversation should be over.
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