What's up Buttercup?

So, what has been happening with the infamous Taylor? Well, actually I am not quite sure, and even if I was sure, I don't know if I could actually write about it. So, what does this even mean? 

This past week or so has been very interesting. Not always a good interesting I admit, but interesting none the less. Being back in college is kind of hard. I feel so restless. Like I should be doing more with my life. If probably could be that last year was so amazing and it was the beginning of something new while this year, I am used to it. However, I would never think of quitting college because I know deep down that this is something that I need to do and is right. When I am there, it feels like home. Even though it is tough, with the homework, exams, and sometimes the roommates. I know that I belong there for the rest of my college career. I love it there. I guess that I am going through some hard times with questioning what I want to do anymore and if trying to become a published writer is even worth the very hard work. Is the English degree that I am spending so much money to get really worth it? And in the end, I say yes. Only because one must experience the world to write about the world. I know I am not the best writer in the world, but I do try really hard and I am always ready to fix my mistakes. But most importantly, it is one of the things I love most to do. Writing has gotten me through a bunch of crap, it's even pulled me out of a depression. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend all day in your amazing imagination? Well, I guess most, but oh well. 

Lately, I have had to write in a nature journal for one of my classes so by the end of the day, I get worn out of writing my thoughts. All of my classes this year seem to be very time consuming. But then, so is talking to my friends on Facebook. Which reminds me, I disconnected Facebook a couple days ago because I have been feeling like I am becoming obsessed with it. I decided that my obsession with Facebook needed to end because I want to live my life, not create it on Facebook.

 And let me tell you, this is torture. I feel as if I am going through with-drawl. But I said that I would disconnect it for a month or two and I am going to do it. Everyone is doubting that I will stay off it for even a week! One of my friends even stated that she doubted that I would do it. So, just to show everyone that I am true to my word and that I could do it, I did it. 

For some odd reason, everyone seems to be doubting me, and I will not have it. So anything that I say I will be doing, I will be trying my hardest to do. 

Lately, my angst seems to be also coming from the fact that I have been having some boy trouble (boy shall forever remain nameless). In the past while, it seems we've been playing this game of 'tug of war' with our hearts and I told him officially that I was tired of our games and that he needed to make his decision now basically. He didn't choose me, and that was when I told him "no more". He said that he doubted that this cycle that we were in would end because I said it would and that I was ending it. There it is again, that doubting! Anyway, I told him that this time was different. And this time, I will make sure that it is different because I want my heart back. 

So, I found this song an hour ago, and I fell in love with the music video. It is perfect! It has dancing, singing that sounds happy but really isn't and some humor. It made me smile through basically the whole music video.